Sorry I just have to harass my brother who doesn’t read this, but I know his wife will go back and tell him lol.
Anyway, he left yesterday and I told you what mom did, slept in then went back to bed. Now, today I have to cut her some slack because she had a rough night last night. She had to get that CAT scan and had to take those meds. Remember Dad had to wake her at 1:45 then at 7:45 and so on. That all went fine but of course she had to drink some dye then wait then get the scan.
I went into work today and on my home I called Dad and they were at 5 guy’s burgers and fries. They had not gone in yet but were getting ready to and they told me all went well and mom was in background say "ok Lee say good bye". This was meaning she was hungry. I was home when they got back and I was just getting ready to go water the flowers, which is not a fast process! Well, she came in and was going to put on her PJ's and come back down but never did. I think she came down once to smoke a cigarette and yes she still smokes and don’t say a word, the Dr already told her she could do whatever she wanted to do! My point was I did not see her. I got all watered and for the evening she was in bed. I talked to her a few times but that is about it. My personal opinion is that she should not eat 5 guys or whatever. She should not do the grease, she should eat frequently but smalls meals per day but she doesn’t do that. Hmmm, now I sound like the mother!
Since I was at work I don’t know what she did this afternoon, but Paige told me she was out back telling her how to mow the grass and trim. I love you Paige, but you need to learn how to do it right! Between Grandma and me "showing" you I am sure your job tomorrow will be great LOL! Paige also told me that mom was going around pulling some stuff here and there, which I did find on the grass but I finished the job mom so all is good!
Mom even being out in the yard is not anything she has done in a while, but I think I have to thank Dr Segal for that, because he said he wanted her "back out gardening". Why are other people can motivate her?
Tomorrow is the PORT so she has to be there at 9:50 and surgery at 11:50 and recovery, who knows how long that will take. I am only staying until Dr Price comes out and says all is done, Dad will wait while she in recovery and I will come back and finish my work day.
I better remember to take the camera for more pictures and who knows maybe he will sing again, and I will be prepared and record it this time lol.
I can tell you mom will probably be sleeping most of the day tomorrow and Friday will be an early day for her as we have to go to those Chemo classes, she has an EKG and a patient advocacy thing. She will have to get back on top of it as Saturday is the Fireworks here in Grove City and they are a blast from our own backyard!
I will try to post tomorrow after all is done but if I don’t, please don’t worry just know we all might be too tired.
Love you all and thanks for reading!
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Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The NUMBER 8
Dad made a very odd observation today. He said do you realize there is something about the number 8 :
May 8th Mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer
June 8th Was that date of her surgery
July 8th Will be her first Chemo treatment
Isnt that odd? I guess I better go hook up with my friend Google and read about the number 8!
May 8th Mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer
June 8th Was that date of her surgery
July 8th Will be her first Chemo treatment
Isnt that odd? I guess I better go hook up with my friend Google and read about the number 8!
Talk about ALAN
Since my brother does not read this blog I was thinking I could talk about him LOL This will be kind of about him but in a good way.
Mom did so good over the weekend and yesterday as we were leaving the appointment, I mentioned how good she was doing. She said it was because Alan was here. Well, now of course dad and were like gee what are we? She went on to explain, that it wasnt just Alan it was having all of us togehter it made her feel good and safe. Most of you know my dad and of course he could not hold back on smart comment so he said hmmm I guess next time you need a late night snack or have a craving we will just call Alan and tell him to come do it. lol
But maybe there is something about Alan being here because today she never got up until noon and then her stomach hurt and she went back to lay down around 2:45 and didnt get back up until 5 ish. So I said hmmmm must be because Alan is gone!
Truthfully, I think she had a good full weekend and ate well and she just needed her rest. I am going up now to make a little dinner and I think we will watch a movie.
She has her CT scan tomorrow but she has a problem with the dye or whatever so they make her take Prednisone 13 hours before. So dad will have the pleasure tonight of waking her up at 1:45 am and start her on her doses:) Oh, we got a nice courtesy call from our go to nurse Sarah to remind us to start the dose at 1:45. Boy, she is right on top of all this, thanks Sarah.
Mom did so good over the weekend and yesterday as we were leaving the appointment, I mentioned how good she was doing. She said it was because Alan was here. Well, now of course dad and were like gee what are we? She went on to explain, that it wasnt just Alan it was having all of us togehter it made her feel good and safe. Most of you know my dad and of course he could not hold back on smart comment so he said hmmm I guess next time you need a late night snack or have a craving we will just call Alan and tell him to come do it. lol
But maybe there is something about Alan being here because today she never got up until noon and then her stomach hurt and she went back to lay down around 2:45 and didnt get back up until 5 ish. So I said hmmmm must be because Alan is gone!
Truthfully, I think she had a good full weekend and ate well and she just needed her rest. I am going up now to make a little dinner and I think we will watch a movie.
She has her CT scan tomorrow but she has a problem with the dye or whatever so they make her take Prednisone 13 hours before. So dad will have the pleasure tonight of waking her up at 1:45 am and start her on her doses:) Oh, we got a nice courtesy call from our go to nurse Sarah to remind us to start the dose at 1:45. Boy, she is right on top of all this, thanks Sarah.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Oncologist Appointment
All went well today however it was a long day! It was a quiet ride to the appointment as we were all a little nervous. I have say that changed after we were at the Zang Center for most of the day! We learned so much, they spent a very good amount of time with us explaining the treatment plan, then of course since we were there we got a few of the tests out of the way. Sarah, for now will be our nurse for this treatment plan and she was great. She made us all feel comfortable and she offered lots of information.
Gemzar is the standard chemo for advanced pancreatic cancer however studies have shown that combinations of chemotherapy drugs, called regimens, may produce more anticancer responses and improve the outcomes of patients with advanced pancreatic cancer than treatment with Gemzar alone.
We are going to do a combo treatment consisting of Gemzar and Abraxane. The Abraxane is showing a good response with Pancreatic Cancer so that is good news. However, we need to do some tests before she is treated with Abraxane for several reasons, can she tolerate it and the test will help us measure how it is working. So mom will have a very busy upcoming week, this is her schedule for this week:
Weds CT Scan
Thur Out Patient Surgery - it is minor it will be to put in a PORT and Dr Price will do this surgery.
Fri Education on Chemo class, patient advocacy and EKG
Next week (of course remember Monday is a Holiday):
Tues PET Scan, more blood work
Thur First round of chemo
I am felling somewhat positive of this treatment plan but we still need your prayers for strength for mom to get thru all these tests and begin treatment with and to be able to tolerate the chemo. I feel good about this Abraxane because what I am reading is showing it to have promising results in the advanced stages of PC.
As for mom she is doing very well. I think getting those staples out helped relieve some pain she was having. She did well this weekend; she enjoyed the family and ate well. She seems to be more mobile! And the best was today she really seemed to be alert and comprehending what everyone was saying. It was a lot to absorb and there will be more but she did very well.
Today seeing her, you would not think she had such an advanced stage of cancer. She still doesn’t have the energy she used to have, as a matter of fact she is in bed now but it was a long day! But Dr Segal wants to get her energy and quality of life back up there as he wants her back out there doing her gardening! He is a very nice Dr and mom likes him so that is good. I think it helps to have Dr's you like and feel you can trust.
I hope I have explained everything well enough, all I can do is try :) Thanks again for all your support and prayers, they are working!
Gemzar is the standard chemo for advanced pancreatic cancer however studies have shown that combinations of chemotherapy drugs, called regimens, may produce more anticancer responses and improve the outcomes of patients with advanced pancreatic cancer than treatment with Gemzar alone.
We are going to do a combo treatment consisting of Gemzar and Abraxane. The Abraxane is showing a good response with Pancreatic Cancer so that is good news. However, we need to do some tests before she is treated with Abraxane for several reasons, can she tolerate it and the test will help us measure how it is working. So mom will have a very busy upcoming week, this is her schedule for this week:
Weds CT Scan
Thur Out Patient Surgery - it is minor it will be to put in a PORT and Dr Price will do this surgery.
Fri Education on Chemo class, patient advocacy and EKG
Next week (of course remember Monday is a Holiday):
Tues PET Scan, more blood work
Thur First round of chemo
I am felling somewhat positive of this treatment plan but we still need your prayers for strength for mom to get thru all these tests and begin treatment with and to be able to tolerate the chemo. I feel good about this Abraxane because what I am reading is showing it to have promising results in the advanced stages of PC.
As for mom she is doing very well. I think getting those staples out helped relieve some pain she was having. She did well this weekend; she enjoyed the family and ate well. She seems to be more mobile! And the best was today she really seemed to be alert and comprehending what everyone was saying. It was a lot to absorb and there will be more but she did very well.
Today seeing her, you would not think she had such an advanced stage of cancer. She still doesn’t have the energy she used to have, as a matter of fact she is in bed now but it was a long day! But Dr Segal wants to get her energy and quality of life back up there as he wants her back out there doing her gardening! He is a very nice Dr and mom likes him so that is good. I think it helps to have Dr's you like and feel you can trust.
I hope I have explained everything well enough, all I can do is try :) Thanks again for all your support and prayers, they are working!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday with the Family
It was a good day today. This morning it was just mom, Alan and I as Paige had gone to work, Dad went to a sale and the rest were not here yet. It was kind of different with just us because as we get older we bring more people in, like spouses and kids so to be just us was very nice.
By noon Tracy, the kids and Danielle arrived and for the remainder of the day it was just hanging out and everyone just did their own thing. Some of us were out at the pool, taking naps, talking, running to scratchyville and just chilling!
Mom had a good day, she was up for the entire day and ate good. But how could she not eat well, we have good cooks in our family! Paige made some great potatoe salad, Danielle made her fantastic macaroni salad, I did chicken on the gril both barbeque and white sauce and get this.... Dad made baked beans LOL. No really he did and mom helped him by making sure he had the right amount of ingredients in them!
When it was just mom, Alan and I she did talk about a few thing. Now if any of you know, I mean really know my mom, you know that she is planner and like to be in control. These are now things that she can not be, as she has no control over this situation and it bothers her that she can not "plan" anything. What she means by "planning" is that she doesnt know how she will feel day to day therefor to say I am going to this or that on a certain day is hard. So many people have said you just have to take it day by day which now I beginning to understand.
I have also seen that the surgery took a lot out of her and she is beginning to recoup. I dont know if you understand what I mean but the past few days she has done well and I also think that getting the staples removed really helped in eliminating some discomfort. I think she really enjoyed today.
I also want to say thanks to everyone for giviing us/mom the time to recoup and absorb all this. I dont know what the future holds but I do know WHO holds the future and is in control.
Ok remember Monday is our appointment with the Oncologist so on the next posting I will let you all know what is happening and/or what will be happening. In the meantime send mom texts, call her, stop by ( cant guarentee how she will be ) but there is something about an improto stop by and say hello. If that makes sense!
Love you all!
By noon Tracy, the kids and Danielle arrived and for the remainder of the day it was just hanging out and everyone just did their own thing. Some of us were out at the pool, taking naps, talking, running to scratchyville and just chilling!
Mom had a good day, she was up for the entire day and ate good. But how could she not eat well, we have good cooks in our family! Paige made some great potatoe salad, Danielle made her fantastic macaroni salad, I did chicken on the gril both barbeque and white sauce and get this.... Dad made baked beans LOL. No really he did and mom helped him by making sure he had the right amount of ingredients in them!
When it was just mom, Alan and I she did talk about a few thing. Now if any of you know, I mean really know my mom, you know that she is planner and like to be in control. These are now things that she can not be, as she has no control over this situation and it bothers her that she can not "plan" anything. What she means by "planning" is that she doesnt know how she will feel day to day therefor to say I am going to this or that on a certain day is hard. So many people have said you just have to take it day by day which now I beginning to understand.
I have also seen that the surgery took a lot out of her and she is beginning to recoup. I dont know if you understand what I mean but the past few days she has done well and I also think that getting the staples removed really helped in eliminating some discomfort. I think she really enjoyed today.
I also want to say thanks to everyone for giviing us/mom the time to recoup and absorb all this. I dont know what the future holds but I do know WHO holds the future and is in control.
Ok remember Monday is our appointment with the Oncologist so on the next posting I will let you all know what is happening and/or what will be happening. In the meantime send mom texts, call her, stop by ( cant guarentee how she will be ) but there is something about an improto stop by and say hello. If that makes sense!
Love you all!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
My Brother ALAN
I had to post this picture. This is my brother and you know he told me he has not read this blog once! Can you believe that? Now, I know his wife, Tracy looks at it each day but he has not read one word! On top of that, Alan, Paige and I were just talking and she told me the same thing, she doesnt read it either. Well I guess maybe one day they will as it will be out here forever.
For all of you who do read and follow it, I thank you!
THE STAPLES CAME OUT!
Mom went to see Dr Price today and they removed the staples, of course after waiting for 2 hours! I guess when you have an appointment with a surgeon you should call before and ask if he is tied up in surgery. But this is with a lot of doctors, you have to wait and wait and then wait some more. The bad news is thanks to BO ( that is what I call him ) we will have to wait even longer!
Dr Price said her incision looks good and I believe she has some relief with them being taken out and it is much more comfortable. She asked if she could swim and he said give it 48 hours, then she asked if she could put on lotion he said hmmm give it 48 hours, so all will be good in 48 hours I guess.
Mom had kind of a bad start to the day with nauseau and then of course they had to wait for the Dr, then pick up meds which the pharmacy hassled her about because the Dr did not have something written on them correctly. Then she came home and became obsessed with the chicken we are having for dinner tomorrow and these cherries that were given to her from our neighbors cherry tree. Dad spent most of the day pitting the cherries and she prepped some for cherry pie and made cherry jelly with the rest. While cooking the cherries she thought she had the burner on for the pan and laid a pot holder on the other. Well needless to say it was the "other" burner that was on and the pot hold caught on fire. She grabbed it and went outside and yelled for me (as I was out in the back yard) as she bolted around the corner to grab the hose and put the flame out. Ok enough said, I think you understand at that point the stress level that was in the house!
On top of all this Alan was due any minute. Plus some friends from work Dana and Meagan had come over to swim and sun with me for the afternoon and Danielle was here dropping off the chicken. Danielle left, Alan showed up and I just stayed out of the line of fire in the backyard with my friends.
But there is a good ending to all of this! They had picked up Chinese so she ate and I am guessing that helped her because when I came in she was alot more calm. Plus Danielle texted me that sometimes its just the little things "like eating something" that can calm a person down. Dana and Meg left and it was just the original 4 - Mom Dad Me and Alan. We ended up talking about some stuff good and bad and old memories and to our surprise she wanted to stay up and finally went up to bed around midnight. Now, that is late very late for mom! Also, there is something about Alan that puts mom at ease and I think its because he is not as stressed as Dad and I and when he is here they always go get some scratchies and she won some money tonight LOL.
Like I said we talked about lots of things and we were talking about one memory and mom was literally holding her stomach laughing. Now that is a BIG first in a LONG time and well over due! This house does get depressing so it was good for all of us to laugh. As I am writing about this I am thinking that we are so obsessed with what is going on that we are NOT taking the time to enjoy. How funny that I am saying that because yesterday was a bad ANGRY day for me. I was really upset and when Paige got home from work we talked and she said this to me "instead of being sad mom we need to enjoy the time we have left with Grandma"! Can someone explain how my 17 year old got smarter/wiser than me? So I guess my revelation for the week is to enjoy mom instead of being sad and angry and everything else. I can do that later! Pray that I can do this because its going to be harder to do than say.
I want to say thanks to a few people. First and foremost to my wonderful daughter. Thanks for your words of wisdom and thanks for putting up with me and my ups and downs. And I am sorry for anything that I have taken out on you and probably will do again :)
Meg Dana, what can I say thanks so much for coming over today, even though I tried to almost cancel. It was nice to get my mind off things, talk about other things and relax. The 3 Amigos! Its so funny because all of us are so different from each other but we do have something in common.....WGS lol. You guys are great and thank you so much for your support. And Dana I really apreciated all the "good" pictures, you know which ones I mean! Also I appreciate all the other people who are there for me for whatever. The one thing I can say thru all this is that are lots of people who are there for me and my family and it is fantastic to have that kind of support. Thank you all so much!
As I said Alan is here and Tracy, Justin and Brooke will be up early tomorrow. I look forward to a nice family day. Danielle is bringing macaroni salad, Paige made potatoe salad and we will do chicken on the grill, both barbeque and white sauce. Since Paige's manager sent her home with this message "stay positive", I am going to say that tomorrow will be a GREAT day!
Dr Price said her incision looks good and I believe she has some relief with them being taken out and it is much more comfortable. She asked if she could swim and he said give it 48 hours, then she asked if she could put on lotion he said hmmm give it 48 hours, so all will be good in 48 hours I guess.
Mom had kind of a bad start to the day with nauseau and then of course they had to wait for the Dr, then pick up meds which the pharmacy hassled her about because the Dr did not have something written on them correctly. Then she came home and became obsessed with the chicken we are having for dinner tomorrow and these cherries that were given to her from our neighbors cherry tree. Dad spent most of the day pitting the cherries and she prepped some for cherry pie and made cherry jelly with the rest. While cooking the cherries she thought she had the burner on for the pan and laid a pot holder on the other. Well needless to say it was the "other" burner that was on and the pot hold caught on fire. She grabbed it and went outside and yelled for me (as I was out in the back yard) as she bolted around the corner to grab the hose and put the flame out. Ok enough said, I think you understand at that point the stress level that was in the house!
On top of all this Alan was due any minute. Plus some friends from work Dana and Meagan had come over to swim and sun with me for the afternoon and Danielle was here dropping off the chicken. Danielle left, Alan showed up and I just stayed out of the line of fire in the backyard with my friends.
But there is a good ending to all of this! They had picked up Chinese so she ate and I am guessing that helped her because when I came in she was alot more calm. Plus Danielle texted me that sometimes its just the little things "like eating something" that can calm a person down. Dana and Meg left and it was just the original 4 - Mom Dad Me and Alan. We ended up talking about some stuff good and bad and old memories and to our surprise she wanted to stay up and finally went up to bed around midnight. Now, that is late very late for mom! Also, there is something about Alan that puts mom at ease and I think its because he is not as stressed as Dad and I and when he is here they always go get some scratchies and she won some money tonight LOL.
Like I said we talked about lots of things and we were talking about one memory and mom was literally holding her stomach laughing. Now that is a BIG first in a LONG time and well over due! This house does get depressing so it was good for all of us to laugh. As I am writing about this I am thinking that we are so obsessed with what is going on that we are NOT taking the time to enjoy. How funny that I am saying that because yesterday was a bad ANGRY day for me. I was really upset and when Paige got home from work we talked and she said this to me "instead of being sad mom we need to enjoy the time we have left with Grandma"! Can someone explain how my 17 year old got smarter/wiser than me? So I guess my revelation for the week is to enjoy mom instead of being sad and angry and everything else. I can do that later! Pray that I can do this because its going to be harder to do than say.
I want to say thanks to a few people. First and foremost to my wonderful daughter. Thanks for your words of wisdom and thanks for putting up with me and my ups and downs. And I am sorry for anything that I have taken out on you and probably will do again :)
Meg Dana, what can I say thanks so much for coming over today, even though I tried to almost cancel. It was nice to get my mind off things, talk about other things and relax. The 3 Amigos! Its so funny because all of us are so different from each other but we do have something in common.....WGS lol. You guys are great and thank you so much for your support. And Dana I really apreciated all the "good" pictures, you know which ones I mean! Also I appreciate all the other people who are there for me for whatever. The one thing I can say thru all this is that are lots of people who are there for me and my family and it is fantastic to have that kind of support. Thank you all so much!
As I said Alan is here and Tracy, Justin and Brooke will be up early tomorrow. I look forward to a nice family day. Danielle is bringing macaroni salad, Paige made potatoe salad and we will do chicken on the grill, both barbeque and white sauce. Since Paige's manager sent her home with this message "stay positive", I am going to say that tomorrow will be a GREAT day!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
PS....Joyce ABAQUITA
Mom got the sweetest gift from our friend Joyce in the Phillipines. Joyce is a follower of the blog her little icon say "i love connie". Mom met Joyce via facebook via me. I know Joyce because she works for a company that does work for mine. We struck up a friendship and she loved all the OSU stuff I sent her at Christmas and mom sent her some stuff as well. Yesterday, there was a package from Joyce and she knows mom loves flowers. Well, Joyce saw these flowered scented bags with little hangars on them and you hang them whereever you want the flower scent. She told mom when she smelled them it would be like her being right there with mom. Joyce is the sweetest person and wow I think she has everyone in the Phillipines praying for mom! Joyce thank you again for your kindness, thoughfullness and prayers you are such a blessing to us!!!
Tuesday June 22, 2010
Sorry I have not had time to write, but really beat! This is very stressful, thought it would be easy to handle but it really is not. Lets be honest, someone is give X amount of time compared to someone who just passes all the sudden. I like the way Carrie explained it, when my Uncle her dad Bob and his brother Tom died it was unexpected and the pain was like tearing off a bandaid real quick, not that the pain is not still there, but it was quick and fast. Being handed X amount of time and watching someone decline is like slowly tearing off that bandaid, its not quick and not fast and you are constantly reminded of the pain.
I told someone today that writing this blog is getting harder to do and do I really put it all out there? Do I tell when it is really bad or what? I guess being honest is the best. I have been honest so far but I see changes in mom but one thing I do see that is positive is that she is trying. As a matter of fact she came out of the bedroom this evening while dad and I were watching a movie and said "hey lets have potroast for dinner tomorrow, we need a good meal". She said "Lee lay it out and I can sear it in the morning and Ang I can make sure I get some potatoes peeled". And tonight she wanted the Mandarin Orange salad that Carrie gave us the recipe for and even though she was asleep when I came in from work tonight she popped up and tried to help get it together. She did go cut the parsley and pulled up a few green onion and sauted the sugar and almonds but it was a stretch. Then she had to lay down she was sick at her stomache. But she did eat hmmm about a cup of the salad and 3 pieces of popcorn chicken.
But here is what I dont understand, she is tired, weak, sleeps alot, has pain but somewhat controlled, is sick at her stomache, pain in her upper abdomen, and does not eat very much, is shaky and has no interest or patience for anything. Now, is that recovery from surgery, the cancer or the drugs? I asked my aunt tonight how in the heck do you know? But honestly, I see her declining and I dont like it period! I want my mom back!
As for her mind, well that is my Dad! He is on top of everything and know exactly what is going on when and keeping her up to date. Like I said he is her mind, if that makes sense. Dad has been the best thru all this really, because Paige and I have been up and down and I take things out on Paige and her me. But really Dad is the ROCK! What a fantastic husband, father and grandpa! I love you dad and thanks for the all you are doing and especially for the movie tonight even though you already watched it, it was good!
Our upcoming schedule is Friday afternoon she sees Dr Price the surgeon to get the staples removed. She thinks that will make her feel better atleast in that area and it really does look good. Thank you Dr Price. Now dont get me wrong I am not blaming anyone but that was all for NOT and it waisted alot of time. Then Monday is the Oncologist Dr Segal and I really dont know what this appointment will be about, but I will say this, it better get things started and moving forward and fast. I have never been so sick of waiting except when I was expecting Paige! Now that I think about it maybe I should not be there because if they dont fullfill my expectations I will be mad. I hope they dont say well next week we will do this then that, oh boy I better keep myself in check.
Dad will be gone most of the day tomorrow and again I am grateful for where I work because I work from home tomorrow and can be right her if she needs anything. I am going to put Paige to work and try to teach her what mom has taught me ie cleaning and yard work! Please pray for that lol.
Love you all :)
I told someone today that writing this blog is getting harder to do and do I really put it all out there? Do I tell when it is really bad or what? I guess being honest is the best. I have been honest so far but I see changes in mom but one thing I do see that is positive is that she is trying. As a matter of fact she came out of the bedroom this evening while dad and I were watching a movie and said "hey lets have potroast for dinner tomorrow, we need a good meal". She said "Lee lay it out and I can sear it in the morning and Ang I can make sure I get some potatoes peeled". And tonight she wanted the Mandarin Orange salad that Carrie gave us the recipe for and even though she was asleep when I came in from work tonight she popped up and tried to help get it together. She did go cut the parsley and pulled up a few green onion and sauted the sugar and almonds but it was a stretch. Then she had to lay down she was sick at her stomache. But she did eat hmmm about a cup of the salad and 3 pieces of popcorn chicken.
But here is what I dont understand, she is tired, weak, sleeps alot, has pain but somewhat controlled, is sick at her stomache, pain in her upper abdomen, and does not eat very much, is shaky and has no interest or patience for anything. Now, is that recovery from surgery, the cancer or the drugs? I asked my aunt tonight how in the heck do you know? But honestly, I see her declining and I dont like it period! I want my mom back!
As for her mind, well that is my Dad! He is on top of everything and know exactly what is going on when and keeping her up to date. Like I said he is her mind, if that makes sense. Dad has been the best thru all this really, because Paige and I have been up and down and I take things out on Paige and her me. But really Dad is the ROCK! What a fantastic husband, father and grandpa! I love you dad and thanks for the all you are doing and especially for the movie tonight even though you already watched it, it was good!
Our upcoming schedule is Friday afternoon she sees Dr Price the surgeon to get the staples removed. She thinks that will make her feel better atleast in that area and it really does look good. Thank you Dr Price. Now dont get me wrong I am not blaming anyone but that was all for NOT and it waisted alot of time. Then Monday is the Oncologist Dr Segal and I really dont know what this appointment will be about, but I will say this, it better get things started and moving forward and fast. I have never been so sick of waiting except when I was expecting Paige! Now that I think about it maybe I should not be there because if they dont fullfill my expectations I will be mad. I hope they dont say well next week we will do this then that, oh boy I better keep myself in check.
Dad will be gone most of the day tomorrow and again I am grateful for where I work because I work from home tomorrow and can be right her if she needs anything. I am going to put Paige to work and try to teach her what mom has taught me ie cleaning and yard work! Please pray for that lol.
Love you all :)
Sunday, June 20, 2010
All is good
I just got back from Carries wish I could still be there. EVAN you are the BOMB for giving up your bed! Thank you so much. I slept all thru each night and slept in which was nice.
I am sure Carrie will get the pictures to me to post or Carrie now you know my password and such so feel free to go ahead and post all those "good" pictures. It was a blast to go to the pool then go carts then putt putt then batting cages then out to eat wow full weekend.
I feel bad today is Fathers Day and although I got home in enough time to make him a good dinner, it just wasnt "Fathers Day". I love you Dad and you know that I wish I could give you the one the one thing that you want :(
Mom is doing ok no better no worse. I do know that she doesnt want to be alone but would you if you were in her shoes? She told me the worst is in the morning not having dad there or meaning if she wakes up and he is gone doing whatever. So I reminded her that someone would be there every morning when she wakes up no matter what!
Mom and I had a good conversation today, I cant explain it but it was good. The one thing I know thru all this is that we can be open and honest and say what we feel, which really I am not good at, but something like this brings out a different something in people its hard to explain. I do know one thing mom is open to questions or whatever, but of course she still is Connie so it will all be on her own her own "terms" lol. But if any of you want my opinion, ask her talk to her dont hold back dont be afraid this ALL has to be out in the open. Aside from Devine Intervention her time is limited so get what you need from her and her from you. I hope that makes sense.
As I said previously, a week from this Monday we see the Oncologist and then the schedule should be set at that point, for chemo. We dont know how or if the chemo will affect her, again another unanswered question. But until then mom is going to what she wants to when she wants to do it. It is just one day at a time.
BTW as for recouping from surgery she is doing well, now I can not get her to bend over and touch her toes but she is very mobile which is great. She told me today that is why she got out of bed the next day and in the hospital she did not want any help because she didnt want to not be able to get around. She is doing good in that area its just the tiredness-lack of energy she is dealing with. But Mom is tough, although can you believe she doesnt thing she is tough? She told me that today and I had to say "what are kidding me"?
I also believe that God is in control in this whole thing. I cant explain its to detailed but He has already spared her pain and is giving her strength to move forward. It really is the rest of us who need to hold onto His strength thru all this!
Again mom, if you are reading this I love you and I am here for whatever as we ALL are so just let us know what you need or dont need. Mom you are great person and I hate to see you go thru this but you know I really believe no matter what or how GOD will get the glory from ALL of this someway, somehow, and sometime.
I love you mom and all of you reading!
Ang
I am sure Carrie will get the pictures to me to post or Carrie now you know my password and such so feel free to go ahead and post all those "good" pictures. It was a blast to go to the pool then go carts then putt putt then batting cages then out to eat wow full weekend.
I feel bad today is Fathers Day and although I got home in enough time to make him a good dinner, it just wasnt "Fathers Day". I love you Dad and you know that I wish I could give you the one the one thing that you want :(
Mom is doing ok no better no worse. I do know that she doesnt want to be alone but would you if you were in her shoes? She told me the worst is in the morning not having dad there or meaning if she wakes up and he is gone doing whatever. So I reminded her that someone would be there every morning when she wakes up no matter what!
Mom and I had a good conversation today, I cant explain it but it was good. The one thing I know thru all this is that we can be open and honest and say what we feel, which really I am not good at, but something like this brings out a different something in people its hard to explain. I do know one thing mom is open to questions or whatever, but of course she still is Connie so it will all be on her own her own "terms" lol. But if any of you want my opinion, ask her talk to her dont hold back dont be afraid this ALL has to be out in the open. Aside from Devine Intervention her time is limited so get what you need from her and her from you. I hope that makes sense.
As I said previously, a week from this Monday we see the Oncologist and then the schedule should be set at that point, for chemo. We dont know how or if the chemo will affect her, again another unanswered question. But until then mom is going to what she wants to when she wants to do it. It is just one day at a time.
BTW as for recouping from surgery she is doing well, now I can not get her to bend over and touch her toes but she is very mobile which is great. She told me today that is why she got out of bed the next day and in the hospital she did not want any help because she didnt want to not be able to get around. She is doing good in that area its just the tiredness-lack of energy she is dealing with. But Mom is tough, although can you believe she doesnt thing she is tough? She told me that today and I had to say "what are kidding me"?
I also believe that God is in control in this whole thing. I cant explain its to detailed but He has already spared her pain and is giving her strength to move forward. It really is the rest of us who need to hold onto His strength thru all this!
Again mom, if you are reading this I love you and I am here for whatever as we ALL are so just let us know what you need or dont need. Mom you are great person and I hate to see you go thru this but you know I really believe no matter what or how GOD will get the glory from ALL of this someway, somehow, and sometime.
I love you mom and all of you reading!
Ang
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Mom Update
She is doing good and she ate very well today. I think a benefit for mom is the same as for me, getting out your surroundings helps. I also think mom needs pushed in some areas. She finally talked to someone today that she hasnt wanted to talk with because she just didnt want to "cry". But she did and all was good and they had a great talk. Mom told me its just that initial conversation that is hard and this is even knowing that the person knows everything but just wanted to talk to mom. They caught up with alot of things and the next conversation will be easier.
As for moms schedule she goes next Fri to Dr Price to get the staples removed and who knows maybe another song? Then the following Monday to see the Oncologist Dr Segal. From what I understand her first Chemo should be that week but that is the 4 th of July so maybe the next who knows. This is what I dont like....not knowing. And as far as I am concerned the sooner the better.
No one know how or if she will handle this chemo but we all need to pray for strength for her thru this and no serious side effects! I do believe one thing for sure that God will have his hand in this for strength, no major side effects and total ease on her pain. And I can say this know the verse that God says he will never give us more tha we can handle!
Again we appreciate all your support, prayers and kindness thru ths journey!
As for moms schedule she goes next Fri to Dr Price to get the staples removed and who knows maybe another song? Then the following Monday to see the Oncologist Dr Segal. From what I understand her first Chemo should be that week but that is the 4 th of July so maybe the next who knows. This is what I dont like....not knowing. And as far as I am concerned the sooner the better.
No one know how or if she will handle this chemo but we all need to pray for strength for her thru this and no serious side effects! I do believe one thing for sure that God will have his hand in this for strength, no major side effects and total ease on her pain. And I can say this know the verse that God says he will never give us more tha we can handle!
Again we appreciate all your support, prayers and kindness thru ths journey!
Friday, June 18, 2010
My Cousin Carrie ROCKS!
I need to do a shout out to Carrie for kidnapping me for the weekend lol. It has been a relaxing day. We went to the pool with her boys Joel, Evan and Drew. I went down the slide it was fun and did a cannon ball from the diving board. Between Carrie and her boys it has been a great time to think of something else. And kids bottom line they are so cool and it is interesting to hear what they have to say. They know mom is sick and that she has Cancer and that is what their Grandpa had too was Cancer. Evan was the one who put it in perspective when he told me that if anything happened to Aunt Connie it would be ok because she would be with Grandpa up in Heaven. He said something like dont you think they would be happy to see each other? Another "out of the mouth of babes" belief and understanding. It is to bad that as adults we can not be that way.
I asked Carrie about what she had planned tomorrow and she said something about driving those litte race cars! She is just to much fun. Then Mindy will be over later with either or both Jeff and Suzanne and out to dnner. This weekend has and looks to be a great time to get my mind off things and be in a different environment.
I got a text from someone else today inviting me to come over for a cookout to take a "breather". Unfortunately, I am here but those kinds of invites are totally welcome. I am lookinf for rejuvination! So thanks to all of your for your kindness and concern!
I asked Carrie about what she had planned tomorrow and she said something about driving those litte race cars! She is just to much fun. Then Mindy will be over later with either or both Jeff and Suzanne and out to dnner. This weekend has and looks to be a great time to get my mind off things and be in a different environment.
I got a text from someone else today inviting me to come over for a cookout to take a "breather". Unfortunately, I am here but those kinds of invites are totally welcome. I am lookinf for rejuvination! So thanks to all of your for your kindness and concern!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
TO THE BLOG WATCHERS
Please be advised nothing bad is going on, mom is ok just on the mend still. She is up and down and actually has been getting around quite well. When she is feeling good she goes and then when done she is tired. We just have to keep reminding her to eat. You should see dad, he has gotten her favorite foods and fixes it on a tray but for her it is cute. I think he needs to be a little more forcefull and take her a piece of cheese or something during the day every once in while. I guess we are just learning, coping and trying to make her happy and comfortable.
She got more flowers today some beautiful ones from Alan and Nancy (nancy's came all the way from California). I hope we can get them to grow into a big bush!
Now, I am getting away for the weekend my wonderful cousin Carrie is taking me hostage, so dont get worried I there are no postings for a few days. All is good and like I said when mom is ready she goes so the next time your doorbell or phone rings who know it could be her!
She got more flowers today some beautiful ones from Alan and Nancy (nancy's came all the way from California). I hope we can get them to grow into a big bush!
Now, I am getting away for the weekend my wonderful cousin Carrie is taking me hostage, so dont get worried I there are no postings for a few days. All is good and like I said when mom is ready she goes so the next time your doorbell or phone rings who know it could be her!
TO MOM
Well what do I say wish I could write ALL I want to write but some I guess is to personal and might also have some bad language lol. Mom if you are reading this I promise I wont say any bad words :) I will say I love you very much and you need to fight with everything that is in you. YAnd I know you can "fight" you always get what you want lol the biggest rooms in the hospital for sure!!!!! You have so many people around who love, care and are here to support you in any way that you need them. Please remember they are there just waiting for you!
You remember when Rose said God brings you to something He is also there to get you THRU something. And of course great is HE that is in me than he that is in the world. If God is for me who can be against me? Hold onto to these words mom and know that as hard as they are to hold onto they are just as hard for me to hold to. So lets hold on together. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOM
You remember when Rose said God brings you to something He is also there to get you THRU something. And of course great is HE that is in me than he that is in the world. If God is for me who can be against me? Hold onto to these words mom and know that as hard as they are to hold onto they are just as hard for me to hold to. So lets hold on together. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOM
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
SHE IS HOME
FYI just wanted to let you know she is home safe and sound and well showered LOL. We are relaxing and just need to talk about something else for a while!
Permanent Stint and Release
Dr Miller put in the permanent stint yesterday for mom and all went well. This will work even better than the temporary one as it wont get as clogged and it wont expand causing mom some of the pain she had. The procedure itself only took about 20 ish minutes, it took her longer to become alert. Dr Miller is with Ohio Gastroenterology Group. My brother and others I know Doctor with them so if you ever need Gastroenterology Dr’s give them a call.
A little funny: I was standing by her waiting for transport to come get her and take her back to her room and here eyes popped open and she said “Did they get your tattoo put on you”? I laughed and said no that they put it on her instead. I had no reaction to that so I knew she was still way out! After she became alert she went outside for about hours and then ate most of a burger, fries and lemonade from Wendy’s so that was good.
Paige was a great help yesterday in helping me get the house ready for her to come home. Paige stripped all the beds and we hung everything out on the line. Mom loves that smell so we did ALL her stuff. We also, brought in fresh flowers from her garden. Making the preparations for her to come home made me think sad thoughts. I am still counting on a miracle but being real this might be the last time I prepare for her to come home from the hospital and it just made me cry. It makes me want to arrange everything that I think she might need be right there at her finger tips. I just can not find a good place to store a good bowl of French Onion Soup from the Clarmont……come on its good to laugh
She is waiting to be released, waiting on Dr Price to sign the discharge. As soon as he does I will head up there and get her home. She is looking forward to taking a shower in her own bathroom and being in her own bed.
Again I thank you all for your support and prayers. As I said before, mom really isn’t up for visitors right now, so if you could just give her some time to get fully recouped we would greatly appreciate that. She loves you all and when she is ready we will let you know!! Thanks for the support in this wish
Sunday, June 13, 2010
BAD DAY TODAY
This was not a real good day tody. As the numbing is wearing off she can feel the pain more and she is depressed. So the prayer needed for today is for depression. She is probably a little anxious as well, since they will be doing the ercp tomorrow to put in the permanent stint. She has to roll on her side during this procecdure and of course that is not a pleasant thought for her right now. She is/was also pretty tired today. None of us stayed long today and hopefully she is asleep and resting well now. Here procedure is at 11 and I will let you know how it goes.
Dr Price was in when I was there and he said as long as all goes fine tomorrow he will release her on Tuesday. I really can not wait to get home and comfortable in her own bed. I hope no rain tomorrow then I can was her sheets and blanket and hang then outside, she loves that.
Paige and I are exhausted and Danielle is here and she is making us just some mac and cheese and pickles lol. We are going to watch a movie - Valentines Day and then go to bed!
Dr Price was in when I was there and he said as long as all goes fine tomorrow he will release her on Tuesday. I really can not wait to get home and comfortable in her own bed. I hope no rain tomorrow then I can was her sheets and blanket and hang then outside, she loves that.
Paige and I are exhausted and Danielle is here and she is making us just some mac and cheese and pickles lol. We are going to watch a movie - Valentines Day and then go to bed!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Thank you Tracy!!!!
First I have to say thanks to Tracy this was all her and Tracy thank you so much this was a wonderful thing to do. Do you all know that the different cancers have different colors and such? Well, I guess Tracy on the way home this week after mom had her surgery she saw some race for the cure thing and one thing led to another and she went online to find a place a called choose hope. You can access their web site at www.choosehope.com So she went online and ordered the above bracelets for some of us to wear in support of mom. The one at the top is for mom the one on the right was for us women and the rubber bands ones are for the men. The rubber ones say CANCER SUCKS and I believe Alan is the one that said yep that is the one because its true!
You can go to the web site yourself and take a look but get yourself one and wear it in rememberance of mom and what we are all going thru and the proceeds go for cancer research! And like I said every cancer has a "color" and it just so happens that Pancreatic Cancer is purple which is color that we all favor.
Again TRACY, thank you it was a wonderful idea, thought and gift for all of us and I really appreciate you doing this!!!! Love ya girl :)
FROG - Fully Rely On God
My mom loves frogs we have some really cool ones around here. Well, moms friend Carla's daughter Chris can draw and she drew a picture of a really cool frog for mom back in like 1999. Well, the other day mom received a package from Chris and it was another picture that she had drawn for Mom. She does an awesome job, so thanks Chris mom loves it! The problem will be where do we put it? I want it in our basement bathroom that have decorated with frogs but mom might want it closer to her so we will see what happens.
Now, when our cousin Tim and Kathy came to visit Kathy was telling us that FROG stood for Fully Rely On God.....how cool is that? God is good in ALL His little ways!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Message from MOM
She wants you all to know that I am trying to post every day but if I dont get to dont worry! She wants you all to know she is doing ok and healing up well.
I was with her tonight and I know she is getting better as she wanted to read the riot act to the security gaurd who wants to kick out the smokers but doesnt do anything about the panhandlers that hang around out there LOL. I just had to wheel her away haha
I was with her tonight and I know she is getting better as she wanted to read the riot act to the security gaurd who wants to kick out the smokers but doesnt do anything about the panhandlers that hang around out there LOL. I just had to wheel her away haha
Update on MOM
I want to thank everyone for their prayers and support and everything you have and/or willing to do. I want everyone to know that dad and I have done a lot of research on this cancer. So I would like for everyone to understand that aside from Devine intervention Metastatic Pancreatic Cancer is NOT curable. Metastatic pancreatic cancer treatments are palliative in nature. Palliative means Relieving or soothing the symptoms of a disease or disorder without affecting a cure. If there was a cure we would be pursuing that option, because we are not ready to let mom go! In today’s information age results and discoveries are communicated around the world. So unless you are being treated in the hills by a back woods Doctor you can find help and treatment locally.
We are very confident in the Dr’s who have been treating mom. They have been wonderful and have taken such good care of her. I thank ALL of them.
Since we now know surgery is not an option, our next step is working with an Oncologist. We are working with Dr Rhoades and Segal and they are with the Zangmeister Center. Here is their link so feel free to take a look:
http://www.zangcenter.com
The first thing we need to do is get mom strong enough to have a permanent stint put in to help drain the bile which helps with the Jaundice. She has a temporary one in now and the permanent one is stronger and does not have problems with clogging. In order for her to get this done she needs to be able to lay on her side, so we are hoping to have this done maybe by Monday. We would like for her to get this done now while she is in the hospital and then maybe we will be looking for a release on Tuesday.
Now I hope no one takes this the wrong way or gets offended when I say this but I am asking everyone to give mom some time to recoup and get strong. And we as a family need to take a breath and absorb all of this. I hope you understand what I am asking of all of you. We have to keep in mind that she has just had her gut cut open, is going to have a metal object inserted into her bile duct and she has to have time to process our next step. She is getting stronger but still in pain and not very lucid. They have her on a lot of pain medications and conversations are not remembered, she is confused and at times very comical.
Here is a funny one – yesterday she had her tray with breakfast in front of her and she was kind of picking at it and then she asked “now don’t I have a feeding tube”? Dad and I just looked at each other and smiled. Dad and I have also learned to just let her think and say whatever we don’t correct her because she is just too confused with all the drugs. Once we get her home and “sober” it will all click in I am sure.
Yesterday, the oncologist came in to suggest treatment for her. His exact words were that the goal of the treatment, which is Chemo, is not to cure but to help elevate pain and possible retard the growth of the cancer. He also said we are talking months not years. The goal of treatment in patients with metastatic pancreatic adenocarcinoma is to provide relief of their symptoms to improve the quality of their lives. In some patients treatment with chemotherapy drug called gemcitidine may lead to improvement in the symptoms and improvement in the performance status (increase in energy and ability to function).
The cycle of treatment would be 1 time per week for 3 weeks then off 1 week. The total time spent for treatment would only be about an hour and half. The first part of treatment would be to give her medications to help with possible side effects i.e. like nausea then they would administer the Chemo drug which would only take about 30 minute. He was pretty frank with us and said if this cancer was curable he would push treatment but it is not. He is suggesting this as she qualifies as a patient who would be strong enough to tolerate the treatment. He also said they will be doing scans and keeping track of her blood counts and if the treatment is not doing anything and/or she is not tolerating it well then we can just stop.
We have an appointment to see Dr Rhoades in 2 weeks, so between now and then once she gets sober enough we as a family will talk about it and SHE can make the decision to do what SHE wants to do.
For now I need to get off here and go to the hospital, she wants me to wash her hair and I know she can not wait to take a shower, hopefully that will happen soon. I hope I have answered your questions and explained things well. If you do have any questions or whatever just give dad or I a call. We love and appreciate you ALL !
We are very confident in the Dr’s who have been treating mom. They have been wonderful and have taken such good care of her. I thank ALL of them.
Since we now know surgery is not an option, our next step is working with an Oncologist. We are working with Dr Rhoades and Segal and they are with the Zangmeister Center. Here is their link so feel free to take a look:
http://www.zangcenter.com
The first thing we need to do is get mom strong enough to have a permanent stint put in to help drain the bile which helps with the Jaundice. She has a temporary one in now and the permanent one is stronger and does not have problems with clogging. In order for her to get this done she needs to be able to lay on her side, so we are hoping to have this done maybe by Monday. We would like for her to get this done now while she is in the hospital and then maybe we will be looking for a release on Tuesday.
Now I hope no one takes this the wrong way or gets offended when I say this but I am asking everyone to give mom some time to recoup and get strong. And we as a family need to take a breath and absorb all of this. I hope you understand what I am asking of all of you. We have to keep in mind that she has just had her gut cut open, is going to have a metal object inserted into her bile duct and she has to have time to process our next step. She is getting stronger but still in pain and not very lucid. They have her on a lot of pain medications and conversations are not remembered, she is confused and at times very comical.
Here is a funny one – yesterday she had her tray with breakfast in front of her and she was kind of picking at it and then she asked “now don’t I have a feeding tube”? Dad and I just looked at each other and smiled. Dad and I have also learned to just let her think and say whatever we don’t correct her because she is just too confused with all the drugs. Once we get her home and “sober” it will all click in I am sure.
Yesterday, the oncologist came in to suggest treatment for her. His exact words were that the goal of the treatment, which is Chemo, is not to cure but to help elevate pain and possible retard the growth of the cancer. He also said we are talking months not years. The goal of treatment in patients with metastatic pancreatic adenocarcinoma is to provide relief of their symptoms to improve the quality of their lives. In some patients treatment with chemotherapy drug called gemcitidine may lead to improvement in the symptoms and improvement in the performance status (increase in energy and ability to function).
The cycle of treatment would be 1 time per week for 3 weeks then off 1 week. The total time spent for treatment would only be about an hour and half. The first part of treatment would be to give her medications to help with possible side effects i.e. like nausea then they would administer the Chemo drug which would only take about 30 minute. He was pretty frank with us and said if this cancer was curable he would push treatment but it is not. He is suggesting this as she qualifies as a patient who would be strong enough to tolerate the treatment. He also said they will be doing scans and keeping track of her blood counts and if the treatment is not doing anything and/or she is not tolerating it well then we can just stop.
We have an appointment to see Dr Rhoades in 2 weeks, so between now and then once she gets sober enough we as a family will talk about it and SHE can make the decision to do what SHE wants to do.
For now I need to get off here and go to the hospital, she wants me to wash her hair and I know she can not wait to take a shower, hopefully that will happen soon. I hope I have answered your questions and explained things well. If you do have any questions or whatever just give dad or I a call. We love and appreciate you ALL !
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Moms progress today
Mom is doing pretty good still pain and little antsy however she is up walking around so that is very good news. I am on my way here soon to go see her. We are all kinda taking turns going up as to not overwhelm her. We just have to get her strong again and back home and comfortable. I will post later and report my visit with her.
I am MAD
I am sure most of you already heard and know what the outcome was of today. What do I say except I am really mad. He actually went in right around 3pm today and was waling into the waiting area right around 3:30. I knew then, plus I could see it in his face. He told us that it had spread and there were about 12 spots in her liver about as big as his pinky fingernail and all he could do was close her back up. I keep thinking what was the Pet Scan for? Well it was to see if it had spread and the scan was all good, which means an open door to go in and try. However, I guess you hear what want to hear but he did say the only way to tell is get in there and look. But seeing her finally out of recovery and the pain from the "attempt" just makes me MAD thinking why could they not tell for sure, why did they have to put her through this attempt for not! I am not blaming I am just venting.
Dr Price was really great to sit there and talk with all of us and answer any and all questions even Nancy's! Nancy if you are reading this I really am sorry for snapping at you! I did not take this well and I dont but I do know why. I heard about half of what Dr Price was saying, some of it sounded like blah blah blah. But if I am correct he is going to give her a couple days to recoup from just cutting her open then we will go the pallative route like putting in a permanent stent and thing to help with the pain like anesthetic block of the celiac plexus. This will aide it pain control. I know he felt real bad coming to tell us this and I also know that he was planning on doing ALL he could do if this was retractable. But the bottom line is that this sucks.
I did not handle and process this well. Even knowing what I knew based on all that Dad and read and talked about it still blew me away. I guess if you knew that this is the one thing that you can for Pancreatic Cancer and you are finally told you cant do it, that really hits home. I guess Dr Price stayed awhile and talked some more but I just felt like I could not breathe plus I felt hot and like I was going to be sick. So I got up and left and I think I walked fast around that hospital about 2 times, threw up, then finally found a little a park area and tried to calm down. I called Brian because I knew I could not and did not want to talk long and I did not want to make any calls and I knew he would do it for me. I did however call 2 people that I wanted and that was Carla and Kim.
I am glad I called Carla, love you Carla and thanks! I knew she would understand why I was so mad but we dont need to go into that here. She talked me down and thru thanks again. Then eventually I went back to the waitig area and I was able to get hold of Kim.
Now, today was Kims and my only baby Paige's birthday and this is the news they got. I am sorry girls it had to come today. And Paige I am truelly sorry I could not be there for you and that this could not be a celebration for the day God gave me the most wonderful daughter in the world! And Kim I know you had your family around you but after reading your post on FB that "call" was not good. And Matti thank you so much for helping me get hold of your mom. PS you can always count on texting a teen with a quick response.
I am tired but felt like I needed to post all this. probably for me not for all you lol. Now, its just thinking what in the world does the future hold? Now that I know this I do not want to leave my moms sight, whether good or bad I want to whatever, whenever she wants. How in the world will i accomplish that? Maybe BO has situations like this in his stimulus packages or health care bill... NOT!
I am going to post some pictures that we took before the surgery. I thought you might like to see.
Dr Price was really great to sit there and talk with all of us and answer any and all questions even Nancy's! Nancy if you are reading this I really am sorry for snapping at you! I did not take this well and I dont but I do know why. I heard about half of what Dr Price was saying, some of it sounded like blah blah blah. But if I am correct he is going to give her a couple days to recoup from just cutting her open then we will go the pallative route like putting in a permanent stent and thing to help with the pain like anesthetic block of the celiac plexus. This will aide it pain control. I know he felt real bad coming to tell us this and I also know that he was planning on doing ALL he could do if this was retractable. But the bottom line is that this sucks.
I did not handle and process this well. Even knowing what I knew based on all that Dad and read and talked about it still blew me away. I guess if you knew that this is the one thing that you can for Pancreatic Cancer and you are finally told you cant do it, that really hits home. I guess Dr Price stayed awhile and talked some more but I just felt like I could not breathe plus I felt hot and like I was going to be sick. So I got up and left and I think I walked fast around that hospital about 2 times, threw up, then finally found a little a park area and tried to calm down. I called Brian because I knew I could not and did not want to talk long and I did not want to make any calls and I knew he would do it for me. I did however call 2 people that I wanted and that was Carla and Kim.
I am glad I called Carla, love you Carla and thanks! I knew she would understand why I was so mad but we dont need to go into that here. She talked me down and thru thanks again. Then eventually I went back to the waitig area and I was able to get hold of Kim.
Now, today was Kims and my only baby Paige's birthday and this is the news they got. I am sorry girls it had to come today. And Paige I am truelly sorry I could not be there for you and that this could not be a celebration for the day God gave me the most wonderful daughter in the world! And Kim I know you had your family around you but after reading your post on FB that "call" was not good. And Matti thank you so much for helping me get hold of your mom. PS you can always count on texting a teen with a quick response.
I am tired but felt like I needed to post all this. probably for me not for all you lol. Now, its just thinking what in the world does the future hold? Now that I know this I do not want to leave my moms sight, whether good or bad I want to whatever, whenever she wants. How in the world will i accomplish that? Maybe BO has situations like this in his stimulus packages or health care bill... NOT!
I am going to post some pictures that we took before the surgery. I thought you might like to see.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
surgery results
Okay, this is Paige writing. Mom (angela) is having a hard time. Dr. Price came in about an hour after she went back and came and told us it has spread. There are dozens of tiny spots all over her liver. There was nothing he could do. He suggests that she do kemotherapy, he has a feeling it would help her. So she is about to be in her room and she'll be in the hospital until the weekend. We'll keep you updated...
surgery begins
Dr. Price got started at three o' clock. During pre-op he came in and talked to all of us. We took pictures and even sang a song to mom. He sang, " I only have eyes for you". He did very well. He said that he had never sang for a patient before. How cool, now all we do is wait...and wait, and wait.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Here we all are tonight at Graeters. We have gotten into a little habit, thanks to Brian, Paula and the kids, of going there once a week. Mom loves the rasberry sherbert so that is what we did. We all met at Graeters, had ice cream, took pictures then before we left we ALL laid hands on mom and Brian said a great prayer.
Paige was down at Alans so she brought him and Brooke back this evening. It has been a weird up and down day but mom has really done pretty well. She got a beautiful letter from her Carla and pictures that our friend Kim took when they had come for a visit, so needless to say the tears came. Carla those were beautiful words and Kim fantastic pictures thanks so much.
There have been lots of phone calls and text messages today as everyone is expressing their thoughts and prayers. Thank you everyone so much it is ALL very much appreciated. Our neighbors Mona and Jim are so kind they stopped by to drop of a ready made dinner for us to have on Wednesday as I am sure we will all be tired and now we dont have to worry about cooking. Thanks Mona and Jim!
Tomorrow Mom Dad Alan Nancy and I will head to the hospital around noon and get mom in and registered then she will go back and they will get her ready for the surgery. Danielle is going to pick up Paige and Brooke and they should be there by 1or so. We will all get a chance to see mom before she goes to surgery. I am hoping I will be there when the surgeon stops by. Then all we will do is wait. As I said before I will post on here any and all updates that I can.
I just want to thank everyone again for their kindness, thoughts and prayers. We might not understand the why but we do know the WHO and He will be in control tomorrow!
Love you all :)
Our cousin Nancy! Nancy came all the way from Durham NC to be with mom and at moms request she asked that Nancy read her the story called the Bubble Gum Tree. Now this is a story that Nancy wrote in College and my mom always loved the story. I had never heard the story but she read it to mom and I this afternoon as we were sitting outside enjoying the backyard. I also believe that we might see this book out in the bookstores real soon :)
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Wow what a great afternoon. Michelle and Sharon stopped by and brought mom the cake in this picture. Michelle said it is like a sponge cake with a custard and strawberries in the middle. We sat out in the backyard, visited and of course talked about several different food recipes!
Rose the mighty prayer warrior stopped by with her friend. Rose said that God had sent her over here to pray for mom and to tell her that God was NOT done with her yet! Mom said the word that God keeps giving her is Be Still. Now Rose had studied the word STILL and it means LET GO! We all prayed and I believe that God is going to something great! Thanks Rose love you!
Now it is 7pm and poor Nancy's flight got delayed. She was supposed to arrive around 5:40 and now wont be here until 7:55! She sounded tired it was a long day for her but we will take care of her as soon as she gets here.
God really is in control as mom was nervous this morning and I thought it looked like it might be a rough day. But God handled it He sent some great Angels that were needed today. Thanks Ladies for making it a great day :)
Its Sunday, 2 more days until the surgery. I am ok but mom and dad both are getting nervous. My dad expresses his nervousness by talking and talking and then talking some more LOL I think mom just wants a little silence.
Like I said mom isnt very hungry and does not have an appetite for anything in particular. I am however going to make her my garlic mashed potatoes today, she said that sounded good.
Our cousin Nancy is flying in today from Durham NC. She wanted to be here for the surgery. Her goal is to take tomorrow and make mom laugh and talk over family stories. If you dont know Nancy, I can tell you she has a ton of stories. She is our world traveler and has seen and done many things in her lifetime. Her and mom our close and Nancy took mom on her first double date when mom was only I believe 14 and her date was an older man to boot!!! Never happen in todays times lol.
The prayer we need is for peace and calmness, thanks!
Like I said mom isnt very hungry and does not have an appetite for anything in particular. I am however going to make her my garlic mashed potatoes today, she said that sounded good.
Our cousin Nancy is flying in today from Durham NC. She wanted to be here for the surgery. Her goal is to take tomorrow and make mom laugh and talk over family stories. If you dont know Nancy, I can tell you she has a ton of stories. She is our world traveler and has seen and done many things in her lifetime. Her and mom our close and Nancy took mom on her first double date when mom was only I believe 14 and her date was an older man to boot!!! Never happen in todays times lol.
The prayer we need is for peace and calmness, thanks!
The past few days have been relaxing for all of us. Not that company was not wanted or needed it was great visiting keeps all of our minds occupied on the visit, stories and such.
Brian stopped by yesterday and he downloaded a bunch of classical music for mom on her Ipod. She will enjoy listening to it and it should be more relaxing than hearing all the noise in the hospital. Brian as always you are the bomb!
Most of you know mom and she loves her garden/yard and she has spent some good time out there yesterday and today. Everything is now planted and of course sprayed with miracle grow. She told she hopes when she comes back from the hospital that it all still looks good. I guess that will be my mission when she in the hospital so if anyone reading this sees me slacking please come grab our hose and water and dead head!!!! Everyone wants to know what they can do so there it is haha
Mom is doing alright her symptoms now are tired, some pain, not really hungry but bossy as always. She is also a little irritable as you can imagine, its the anticipation of the surgery. I guess i would be too! The things she likes to eat now are strawberries (hopefully some "special" ones tomorrow) and Graeters rasberry and lemon sherbert. So Kati and Steph if you are reading this. anytime you want to bring a dip over bring it on! Also, for you locals go to Graeters for your ice cream and ask for Steph and/or Kati!
Our cousin ( wow we have alot of cousins ) Nancy Cool is coming tomorrow night at 5:40. I think the plan tomorrow will be some dinner and Graeters for dessert and hopefully we can have a gang at Graeters and sit and enjoy ice cream and visit.
Now for the surgery info it will be Tues around 2:30-3:00 it will take about 4 hours for the full surgery ( whipple procedure ). If I mentioned this before sorry for the repeat. Dr Price will go in and look if he sees this is recectable he will remove all he can and she will be in the hospital for about 2 weeks. After that she will have to get some chemo/radiation to kill whatever cells might be left and prevent it from comeing back. If he see that he can not remove successfully then he will close up and then we go antother route and if I am not mistaken he said she would be in the hospital only a few days.
Whatever the case is, please dont worry about going to the hospital to see her. This is what she wants. If it is the 2 weeks she needs to just recoup, rest and get strong. Also, I will try to keep all posted via this blog, texting and face book. As for now I am having trouble posting on here from my phone as you have seen it comes across like ??/??////. I will TRY to get this right before Tuesday but if not it will be text and face book so please pass the word on no matter how I do it, thanks!
We all should feel good about the surgery as we have a great surgeon, which BTW I found out he does like 25+ per month so he knows what he is doing. I might have said this before in another post, I really cant remember what I said and to who so I know you understand if I am repeating.
You know I dont know what I should or shouldnt say on her but here it is... I am NOT ready to loose my mom so the Bible says if 2 or more are in agreement.....so that means I need/want you all to agree with me that surgery will go great all will be removed and NO complications and we will have many more years to come. I am ready to stand on that promise because God does NOT lie...so be with me on this!
I know this is long post, but I have not written for a few days and I dont want Becky to worry :) Love you Becky! I hope I have informed all of you and have answered any questions that you all might have and if not just ask. I love ALL your support
Brian stopped by yesterday and he downloaded a bunch of classical music for mom on her Ipod. She will enjoy listening to it and it should be more relaxing than hearing all the noise in the hospital. Brian as always you are the bomb!
Most of you know mom and she loves her garden/yard and she has spent some good time out there yesterday and today. Everything is now planted and of course sprayed with miracle grow. She told she hopes when she comes back from the hospital that it all still looks good. I guess that will be my mission when she in the hospital so if anyone reading this sees me slacking please come grab our hose and water and dead head!!!! Everyone wants to know what they can do so there it is haha
Mom is doing alright her symptoms now are tired, some pain, not really hungry but bossy as always. She is also a little irritable as you can imagine, its the anticipation of the surgery. I guess i would be too! The things she likes to eat now are strawberries (hopefully some "special" ones tomorrow) and Graeters rasberry and lemon sherbert. So Kati and Steph if you are reading this. anytime you want to bring a dip over bring it on! Also, for you locals go to Graeters for your ice cream and ask for Steph and/or Kati!
Our cousin ( wow we have alot of cousins ) Nancy Cool is coming tomorrow night at 5:40. I think the plan tomorrow will be some dinner and Graeters for dessert and hopefully we can have a gang at Graeters and sit and enjoy ice cream and visit.
Now for the surgery info it will be Tues around 2:30-3:00 it will take about 4 hours for the full surgery ( whipple procedure ). If I mentioned this before sorry for the repeat. Dr Price will go in and look if he sees this is recectable he will remove all he can and she will be in the hospital for about 2 weeks. After that she will have to get some chemo/radiation to kill whatever cells might be left and prevent it from comeing back. If he see that he can not remove successfully then he will close up and then we go antother route and if I am not mistaken he said she would be in the hospital only a few days.
Whatever the case is, please dont worry about going to the hospital to see her. This is what she wants. If it is the 2 weeks she needs to just recoup, rest and get strong. Also, I will try to keep all posted via this blog, texting and face book. As for now I am having trouble posting on here from my phone as you have seen it comes across like ??/??////. I will TRY to get this right before Tuesday but if not it will be text and face book so please pass the word on no matter how I do it, thanks!
We all should feel good about the surgery as we have a great surgeon, which BTW I found out he does like 25+ per month so he knows what he is doing. I might have said this before in another post, I really cant remember what I said and to who so I know you understand if I am repeating.
You know I dont know what I should or shouldnt say on her but here it is... I am NOT ready to loose my mom so the Bible says if 2 or more are in agreement.....so that means I need/want you all to agree with me that surgery will go great all will be removed and NO complications and we will have many more years to come. I am ready to stand on that promise because God does NOT lie...so be with me on this!
I know this is long post, but I have not written for a few days and I dont want Becky to worry :) Love you Becky! I hope I have informed all of you and have answered any questions that you all might have and if not just ask. I love ALL your support
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Cousin Joyce and John Visit
Moms cousin Joyce and her hubby John came to visit on Thursday. They had a good visit but I dont know if they got enough to eat LOL They went to Cap City and 2 pieces of the great Chocolate cake came home with them. I wonder if John enjoyed his piece because he almost wrestled me for it before he left. As they were leaving Joyce got directions to the closest White Castle so they could grab a bag of burgers on the way out of town. What is it about White Castle? Danielle stopped in while they were still here which was nice. She brought pepperoni and cheese bread. I have not tried that yet. I put it in the freezer to keep and when Nancy gets here we will try it, but I am sure it will be good. Ah food, the Heibel family haha
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
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